I changed my surname and I’m still Who I was

Marriage proved to be turning point of my life. I was happy and worried both towards the sea changes that happened in my life-  leave your home, parents, lifestyle and yes freedom in many sorts…

img-20160922-57e3a2c284a21My ‘Last name’ remained a mystery for people and they were curious to know what I will do with it. But I happily chose to change my surname; needless to prove I still remain who I AM !

Here I completely agree to those who still carry their last name or do whatever they wish to do. I have met few people who kept their name unchanged to show gratitude or respect towards their parents. Many have some history and cultural value attached to their maiden name and I love them all even if there is no reason at all. But for me, it brought me a little closer to someone I have loved most in my life. It made me feel that we are not just 2 people but a soul together. Yes, initially It was strange to pronounce it and even my friends or acquaintances got confused with the names. It’s was a little challenge to change  names in the office, bank accounts, PAN or Passport but nevertheless I did it all ! It’s my acceptance towards the new life that I had wished for. It’s not dominance over my personality, my personality is just not my name.

Undoubtedly there is deep respect towards the name my parents chose for me, but then I was too small to understand it and accept it (that happens with everybody). As I grew from a baby to a girl to a lady, I have naturally accepted that. If I may ask what’s my Mother’s maiden name or why I was named after my grandfather’s name and not my grandmother’s maiden name, things might have been different. So I just carried my family’s legacy in the natural way but not the chosen way!

Today we talk about Women who continue their maiden name post marriage or add it along with their hubby’s surname and only tag them as feminist. But let’s recollect the Women who astonishingly took a different name altogether like Indira Priyadarshini Gandhi. In India things are dynamically changing with many good signs for Women and I believe things will be aptly better if a girl is not forced to marry someone or isn’t set on fire for the sake of dowry. Or she shouldn’t be treated as alien by her family at the time she needs them most.

A wonderful piece I read somewhere “

It didn’t matter why I changed my name. The real feminist victory is that I had a choice; I was not forced or coerced to do anything against my will”.

I always feel like a free spirit, I never wished to be controlled by anyone. To talk to someone or introduce myself, I need a name. But to truly reveal myself, I simply need my attitude and behaviour. And today with around 5 years of marital bliss, I’m still the little girl of my parents. I embrace and confront my opinion the same way. My values are untouched, my past and present is unaltered with the name change. My name is not a synonym or signal of my submission, or reinforcement of the idea that women are inferior to men. A Woman is very unique to be compared with any Man in the world. I am as feminist as anyone who have retained their maiden name.

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